Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. I probably had the heater up on high and they wilted. Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom. What bright side, Weasel? Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Would you shut your filthy mouth! Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Suppose I made it happen. This causes Steve, Waldo and Weasel to leave and Eddie laughs nervously]. Their own version of the 3 R's? She actually said, "Human Being". Where do I sign? Sorry. This is my mother. One Now, let's read it! He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yes, those were very confusing times. Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. Laura: Let me tell you something. [Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. Carl Otis Winslow: [after being frightened by Pablo, the stick bug] Did you see the size of that thing? Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, suppose I arrange for you to meet Johnny Gill personally. His parents were very upset. Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? I love my Army. Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Steve, what happened? [kisses Laura] Love you. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? They just love juicy gossip. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Rachel Crawford: I'm what? All the pins look like Laura! "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. . Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. I mean, you are very Laura: Let's just put it this way You have the perfect face for your head. He's never used his! Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. Steve Urkel: Calm down? Anywhere away from my Laura. Carl: I sure hope so because I'm wearing his underwear. Would you reward me with a kiss? Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. I feel stupid! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! then removes his hand]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Rachel Crawfish? Carl: Who are you and what have you done with our son? Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Does that about cover it? Aunt Oona: Well not good, my kitchen exploded. No phones. Harriette Winslow: You eat all that ice cream and you can kiss your diet goodbye. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub! I won't be able to take you to the prom. [smiles]. Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! Fortunately, when I was young I had no friends. Harriette Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Carl. Not bells, Swiss Melody Chimes. Dad took Waldo instead of me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo.". [walks into the bathroom]. It helps to determine how much help you need. Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. With Squeeze I'm not safe nowhere. Steve Urkel: Carl, I brought the notes to go over with Laura. Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Carl: What? [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. You're late for class. Laura: [grabbing his arm] Ooh! All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Steve Urkel: Oh great! Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. Raoul asked me out, but I told him that I was happily married. Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Willie Fuffner: That's different, you're my friend. Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. Harriette Winslow: [retrieves a coupon from her purse] Ohhh no no no, Carl! Every year, my relatives send me money in hopes that I won't visit them! Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. This isn't right Weasel. Steve could've been killed. Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. You don't sleep, you don't have nightmares. Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. Muskrat Time! Carl Otis Winslow: I'll tell you what son, why not give me cash for Christmas. Ok, just give me a couple of days and I sould have it fixed. Alex Phillips: How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is. Laura Lee Winslow: Most people don't know that. Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers, Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp. Doo da doo da. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Carl Otis Winslow: Better, I locked him up. It's Monday! Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Caterer trainees. No. next semester, are ya? Gun, Carl. Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Seymour Butts? But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? Sheldon is rude, vain, obnoxious, and one-dimensional. Would you reward me with a kiss? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: He must've been dangerous. [stares at the racist cop] Black. Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? Steve Urkel: [opens the back door] Surprise. A small gastronomic goof up. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Serious. Laura: Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met! He's gonna drive us tonight. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? So long! Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? Dadadadada! Reading, 'Riting and Racism? We should put those pictures in the school paper. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Carl Otis Winslow: But, apparently you seem want to learn it the hard way, well so be it. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. Eddie: As a starting forward of the school team, it's my duty to play round ball not nerd ball. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. And I'm sorry. It meant a lot to me. Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. How about the next round we switch colors? From 1989 to 1998 (via IMDb ), White . April 24th, Carl, I planted this fake diary because I knew you'd read it. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! The wind has chapped my lips. Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? no. No! Overall, Steve's good intentions trump his flaws and give the audience a plethora of laughs every time he comes onscreen and says, "Did I do that?" Without Steve Urkel, Family Matters would have been overlooked as just another TGIF Friday night comedy show. Upload. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. This is my grandmother's wedding and $1500. Laura: Is it my imagination or is your voice lower? Rodney Beckett: I'm Rodney, but my friends call me Rod-meister. Steve Urkel: And I'm Steve Urkel! "Clean up your room, Edward." How much will that cost me? She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. Take out the trash Edward, "Tomorrow Dad!" 7. Steve Urkel: Really? Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. Laura: Look, I owe you an apology. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. [Carl is appalled as he has a donut in his mouth], [Carl has just bought Harriette an exercise trampoline for her birthday. Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? Old money has more wrinkles! Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Steve Urkel: I can't! Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. For that matter why isn't everybody? Make my day! Carl: Rachel, you're putting entirely too much filling in those. Ken: You make me wanna puke! Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! More like The Repulsions. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Harriette Winslow: Abrasive? Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Yup. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Harriette Winslow: [Waldo crashes his snowmobile in the Winslows' living room] Waldo? Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? Steve Urkel: I had my first allergy attack when I was nine. You have the right to remain silent. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Waldo Faldo: Why are ya gonna do that, Willie? So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. None of this is your fault. He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. Carl Otis Winslow: [kisses the ice cream carton] Goodbye. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I have been scared straight, I saw a guy who had a tattoo of a battleship. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [He walks towards Eddie and pulls out a folded flyer he took out of his pant pocket. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Carl = Son, you have disobeyed me for a woman? Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! [heads for the stairs - Carl grabs him by his suspenders] I almost got ya there, Carl. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Waldo Faldo from Illinois. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: These last 2 weeks have been wonderful for me. Urkel defeats him]. Three times X equals six. Laura Lee Winslow: [pushes some things aside] I can't pitch in right now. It's just for the family Steve stop begging. Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. At the airport he picked up 6 bags. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. Needless to say she's not amused as he jumps on there]. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. So you have to make every minute count. Waldo: I got close once. Carl: Are you implying that you're not having a good time? Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! I want more Punch! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? While he was starring in "Family Matters" as Steve Urkel, White also began a side hustle as another staple of the era's popular culture . So one day I decided to do something about it. Web. Finally, one rainy day, I walked in dripping wet, and that same man that pushed me out, shook his head and gave me a library card. Steve Urkel: Well, that may be what happened, but it won't be what the people believe. Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. Steve Urkel: Oh no! Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I call Waldo Faldo up. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. No wonder you're my favorite grandchild. Steve Urkel: Why, I can see the headlines now! Colonel Dirk Urkel! Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. Laura: Steve, you're supposed to cook those! But our little town only had ONE library, and it was for whites only. Steve Urkel: Yes! He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. From now on, no parties and no TV. You're setting a bad example for the kids. There's no justification for this behavior! Laura: I mean it, Waldo. I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Ms. Steuben: Yeah, well Steven, you're not taking Home Ec. Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. The Urkel mock will think bigger in potential screw-ups for teams that have valued assets poorly in the past than for teams that have made few mistakes. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. And I just got the wax sucked out of my ears! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Where are we going, Willie? Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! Steven Quincy Urkel is a fictional character on the American ABC/CBS sitcom Family Matters, portrayed by Jaleel White. Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Waldo: I said he Hey, you can't trick me! Steve Urkel: [Steve picks up the cord to the satelite dish] Sloppy, Sloppy, Sloppy! Waldo: Thanks for helping me find the gym. Laura: Well, that's because you have self-confidence. Easy Eddo. And what about the car show last Saturday? Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! Like a moth to a flame. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, do you mind if your old grandmother tells you a story? Steve Urkel: Well, if I did, nobody would ever let me in. There's no one I wanna say no to more than you. "Family Matters Quotes." Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. Sara Sue Pettyjohn: [stuck up toward Myrtle's lack of style and class] That's the difference between *old* money and *new* money. Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. He opted ofr early retirement. Steve Urkel: Laura? [the photographer takes a snap shot of Eddie nerously laughing as Carl drives him away]. Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. The '90s series "Family Matters" may have been about the Chicago-based Winslow family, but the show's breakout character was actually Winslow neighbor Steve Urkel. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. I'll grab my stuff and I'll be out of here tomorrow. Rodney Beckett: YOU thought you were smart? People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: That's what I said, but Dad still said no. All these people think the party is tonight. Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! Suppose I made it happen. Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. You've been saying it for weeks. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward Arthur Winslow, son I'm ashamed of you. I'm starved. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. You're making me blush. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. You know that in Kenya, "Urkel" means "a benign cyst on the foreleg of a wildebeest"? It's always tomorrow with that boy! [Eddie groans as Carl walks in to brighten his mood], [Eddie leaves with Carl to hang out with him. [Greg leaves as Willie walks in with Waldo and the crowd boos him. urkel-steve. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Newsflash, Eddie! Can you believe that? Harriette you're the one who said you're fat. I don't ever want to go to that restaurant again. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. He couldn't cover his head with his hat. Can't see a darn thing. Steve Urkel: That's because you don't know what it's like being small. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. And I don't get many calls! Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. Waldo: [pause] Wow! Mucus comes in so many colors. Would you care to heal them with a kiss? Hey Steve, would you like a breast? Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. Could you write that A down on a piece of paper? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl and his father planned on doing a lot of things together, but they never got the chance. Bye! I can't live like this. Carl: [Urkel Voice] In the meantime, I have to break the news to Harriette. Carl: Typical. Steve Urkel on CBS? Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! White . Seems I'm having all the luck. Would you like that? Got anything in the fridge? Steve Urkel: Why? Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. Edward, sure I got a moment. Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son. Eddie: Dad you embarrassed me in front of my friends. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. Steve Urkel: [dropping his bowling ball and hyperventilating]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I'll bet that's what the bug was thinking, too! Laura: For the last time, Steve. Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Every day for 6 months. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Steve Urkel: Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Now, what you do on your own time is your business. Why, you teach us things about life! There is no Steve here. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. Chico! Why that low-down-cheap-bunder-headed-mud-slinging-bush-wacking-slanderous-snake-in-a-skirt is blackmailing you! [Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl, you lazy slug! Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? I'm here. Carl Otis Winslow: [packing up the camping gear] Boy that was great, a family weekend in the wilderness. I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. Why are you guys dressed like that? No Traffic. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. [Pulls him into a hug]. You think she'll really kiss Steve? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I know that I'm not worthy of you, but I just can't help loving you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? Steve Urkel: Thanks. Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? Boyd broke my glasses. Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. A minor Betty Crocker boo boo. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Big Guy, what are you up? Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. The Nineties. Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. Eddie: I'm the one who's taking the test. Carl, you given me a half-eaten box of candy. [plugs the cord into the socket]. It can't explode or anything? Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: DAN DRUFF? Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Carl Otis Winslow: That boy is Looney Tunes. Ms. Steuben: No, I'm a nervous teacher! Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Stefan Urkelle: It's not just a transformation chamber. [Willie is upset at Waldo as Laura shows up to the crime. Steve Urkel: Uh no. Steven Quincy Urkel: But I'm going the recommended cruising speed for this vehicle Any more could be risky. You see, I use verbs. I have feelings. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Waldo come to the Witness Stand. Steve Urkel: I hurt myself. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. And it's all my fault. Ordinarily, I like a table right next to the water. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll get that, you must be having a rough day. Steve Urkel: I think it's because these pants are so loose! What do you have to say for yourselves? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [talking to Chondra in the bar about Maxine] Aww, yeah, she's a sweetheart but if she caught us in here together she'd rip off your arm and beat me with it. You ever been down to the slaughterhouse? Pretty girl, dark hair your sister for God's sake! It's a "non-date". Your dad's runnin' late. Steve Urkel: L-long enough to get i-icicles on my nose hair Look! Not when it's swirling around a porcelain tank. And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Verbs are our friends. Laura Lee Winslow: Now, for the championship and the toaster oven, who made the first patented shoe sewing machine? Stefan Urquelle. Baby Girl: You couldn't push me out of this park if you wanted to!