To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Because, in fact, youll find them all in Dante. 61. Well-whiskerd face, and radiant with a smile; He bows, shakes hands, and has a word for all. Golf hair - Don't care! The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the procession passes. Nick says to Lou, Lets say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day.. Yes, these will be your golden years. Explained! "Mistakes are part of the game. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. I have observed, he said in a calm voice, that the best golfers do not use foul language., I guess not, said Steve, what the hell do they have to bitch about?. Golf doesnt care if youre famous or a professional golfer. 7 On the Ning Nang Nong by Spike Milligan. Soooop of the eeevening, Beautiful, beautiFUL SOUP! Breathing of honour, joy, and love and fame. And down through contact, always down, striking the ball crisply, with character. This funny short poem uses a situation grounded in reality to evoke a laugh. Golf barks U.S. Open flags Woods is out. Mickey Mantle. Quarantine closed the courses; The return in fits and starts. "The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie.". 21. Just being polite, but my ear will get bent. The Golf Father. Funny Golf, Great Gift Idea Home Design 2017. Full many a stroke is played with heart and soul: As in the quarry, track, or sand he lies. Is everything alright at home?, Not really, says Rick. Those were some of the funniest golf poems currently in existence, and we will update this list over time to add more funny golf poems. Here is a collection of 20 golf quotes - some are inspirational and others are golf sayings that will hopefully bring a smile to your face. The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one particularly if he plays golf, which he usually does., 17. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, its always possible to get worse. The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green., 13. Consider the value of doing what you love and being paid for it! Partners socially distancing, Riding in separate carts. He would have promisd, in the land of light. Golf is a lot like taxesyou go for the green and come out in the hole! ', He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death., 38. "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world.". Little Boy Blue, please cover your nose. Where washerwomen erst and snobs were found! If I hit it right, it's a slice. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. And before you know it he wants to trade up; Youve just gotta make sure you keep your left arm straight and your head down longer.. Wars, storms, and thundersall would have been off! It Seems a Long Way Off . Ifas each tree, and rock, and cave of old, Thou hast thy nymph; I ask for nothing but, Now for the second: And here Baird and Clan. We would be having fun and laughing. You've already moved most of the earth. He still tossed and turned. Its alive, this swing, a living sculpture! Short funny golf quotes and sayings the only thing a golfer needs is more daylight ben hogan golf is a good walk spoiled mark twain the most important shot in. *. I went to the doctors, to fix my sleep. It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. The difference between a whiff and a practice swing - no one curses after a practice swing. Not even God can hit a 1-iron, 28. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.. 19. He needs GPS watches and ball picker-uppers, Since it's your birthday, I'll tell you now you're a real catch.Fishing you a reel-y happy birthday! A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls., 45. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of course. To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. Because they dont want to wake up the people watching. 'Cause then I would lose those sweet five hour buffers! Life is so filled with pleasure, penalty. It took one afternoon on the golf course., 47. And had a most terrible fall. Little Boy Blue Darren Sardelli. A bumper brimhigh to their healths let us fill; Our charming instructressesblessings attend them. A golfer was having a terrible round 20-over par for the front nine with a bunch of balls lost in the water or rough. 13. Its good to see there is still some respect in the world., Well, its only right, the first golfer replies. Golf, Gifts, T, Shirts,, , Posters & Other Gift Im Gettin Closer!, Marbles In My Pocket, The Official Facebook, The games and Golf quotes on Pinterest. No doubt these heathen gods, the very minute. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob, Whatd you have?, Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. Many of them are bite-sized, great for recitation. They deserve to be appreciated! When they reach the 9th fairway, the young man is facing a tough shot. Let us know in the comments down below! Less golf said no one ever. One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. Enjoy. These are the best golf poems ever. Swipe out, for distance, against any man; But in what course the ball so struck may go. "You know, they're all afraid to play me. In parties well matched how they gracefully spread. The club, the spoon, the putter, and the ball: For all is doneeach ball arranged on tee. He spouts meaningless numbers and hole-by-hole plays. It took one afternoon on the golf course., 25. The Plot Against the Giant by Wallace Stevens. ", She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under-par round. Golf verses poems quotes for your handmade greetings cards and scrapbooks. 18. Subscribe. You can search and find famous golf Poems . A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Brought coin and fashion, betting, and renown, And lords and ladies, knights and squires, to ground. Funny Golf Captions. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators., 7. O rare!but its a lieIll bet the odds! I promise to love you. Copyright 2022 All Rights Reserved | Powered by Thegoneapp.com, 97 Funny Quotes About Love (Life is serious enough!). Well win it yet, if I can cross the ditch: Theyre over, smack! They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken., 6. I'll go over and have a word. Of life, when, eager, hoping for the palm. An insomniac young fellow named Hatches. Born to golf; forced to work. But let him win, and he will beat the best. BOOM YOU'RE A CAKE! autosweblog.com. ", Martin turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth and show him, dear.". This poem is an excerpt from Poems on Golf, a poetry compilation by the . The golf tips on YouTube, the knowledge he gleans! Driving golf carts. Jack Benny. effort at hitting the ball. But better play succeeds, these blunders past. When his caddie then coughed as he steadied himself over a 12-inch putt on the 10th, he lost it. P-U-T-T is correct, the instructor replied. Two rounds a day are plenty., 42. Do you have a favorite golf joke or golf pun that we missed? Till we are close upon thee, on the green; And tho when seen, save Golfers, few can prize. Find a reason to laugh Just look at funny giraffes Watch a funny show A transformation you will go. It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. All the honours usurped, and assumed the chief place; But truth bids the muse from henceforward proclaim. Parade, the unrivalld Falstaff of the ground; He laughs and jokes, plays, what you like, and yet. Noah. The copyright of all poems on this website belong to the individual authors. Noting that her husband looked more haggard and disgruntled than usual after his weekly golf game, his wife asked what was wrong. . 23. Poet: Nixon Waterman. John Updike, More Matter: Essays and Criticism. The Mirror By 14. And with putt well directed plump into the hole. You have like miniature golf face., 81 GolfMan should expect something from a woman. The ball when fairly bunkered, man and wife. His Golf is better than his evening play: That must be scandal; for I am sure that none. ms on Golf, a poetry compilation by the Edinburgh Burgess Golfing Society. Funny Poems For Kids About Animals. Isnt it obvious whether or not she is still alive?, Well, said Rick. . A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls., 63. As all souls are equal before their Maker, a two inch putt counts the same as a 250 yard drive. If you play at it, it's recreation. That they had such a man to represent them: Theres one thing onlywhen hes on the roll. Get exclusive access to new product drops, deals & giveaways! Herbert Warren Wind, TheStory of American Golf: Its Champions And Championships. 86. You should always try before you buy, especially when buying a putter. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". Cheat, flatter, humbuganything for gain; And had he trod the worlds wide field, methinks. 11. If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot. Does this describe your last round? I don't understand the Windows My computer says are there Nor the Gem Clip at the side of my page Wth eyes that blink and stare!. As Jimmy sank his putt, Matt suddenly jumped out of the cart and dropped his pants. The scales of fight on Joves own finger hung? Golf is both a mystical journey of joy and sorrow and a physical journey of cause and effect.. Poems are truly vehicles full of metaphors and other tools that can inspire our soul and make us feel relatable emotions. The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt. May the sun shine bright on your windowpane. Required fields are marked *. All stories are moderated before being published. Wed love to hear it. Amy for, 61. With a big smile, he asks the others, In the States, we call that a mulligan. Can I replace the hen?, I dont know about that, replied the farmer, mulling it over. Little Johnny: then go fuck yourself. Saturday, July 20th, 2013. There s a lot to laugh about golf. Whiz round his head his supple club he throws. You dont know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket., 4. Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? The higher the handicap of the golfer, the more likely it is that hell be telling you what you should be doing to fix your game. Here is a list of 15 funny poems for kids. Is Drinking Allowed On PGA Tour Golf Courses? So Jim says, 'What's wrong? Martin says to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. Billy Graham, QuotesFrom Billy Graham A Legacy Of Faith. 10. 16. Golf Chat Three old men on the golf course, (Each had trouble hearing well) Were playing a round on a breezy day, When one blew over and fell. Relax: How can anyone relax while playing golf? Edgar Albert Guest (4 poem) Billy Collins (1 poem) Andrew Lang (1 poem) Ellis Parker Butler (1 poem) Robert Fuller Murray (2 poem) Norman Rowland Gale (1 poem) The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has., 32. We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance., 48 Never on any golf course have I been approached by a policeman who said, Lady, you cant play with an ordinary golf ball. Funny golf sayings and quotes. 19. Although golf was originally r. From the outfits to the fact that it is ridiculously expensive it s easy to poke fun at the sport. Golf can be frustrating. GolfThis is a fascinating game. Explained! Golfer: This is the worst golf course I've ever played on! Legalize Mulligans! Your head's starting to look more and more like a golf ball - bald and dimpled. So much of children's literature features animals so I started with six delightful poems that can be memorized. A good walk spoiled. Whoeer he was, the name befits thee well. That little man thats seated on the ground, He talks to WoodJohn Woodwho ranks among. Can drive the longest ball upon the Links; And well he plays the spoon and iron, but, Near Captain Cheape, a sailor by profession. Famous quotes about golf open up the possibility of more conversation on the course. A humorous shaggy dog style poem mixing golf and sex. The lady golfer was a determined, if not very proficient, player. Rick, says John, you didnt seem the same on the course today. Sounder of pigs ruined golf course coming to you. A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.. far and sure! twas the cry of our fathers. Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7 a.m. Sunday. This Is So True With Golf And Life Quote Thoughtoftheday Lorisgolfshoppe Golf Quotes Golf Inspiration Golf Humor. Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose., 41 Dont play too much golf. 715 J Street, Suite 306 San Diego, CA 92101. , the more likely it is that hell be telling you what you should be doing to fix your game. Then why did you mark down eight? asked Bob. autosweblog.com. On old Olympus, when it teemd with gods. Robert Frost, ' Fire and Ice '. With a terrible fright. Funny Golf Poems. Are the fruits and rewards of our favourite game: A sport so distinguished the fair must approve; So to Golf give the day and the evening to love. GolfIts like playing solitaire. Even God cant hit a 1 iron., 35. What Is A Concession In Golf? I then might shake the gazing world like them; Time-honourd Golf!I heard it whisperd once, That he who could not play was held a dunce. Continue with Recommended Cookies. As they are retreating to the bedroom for the first time, the husband looks deeply into his wifes eyes. It has taken me nearly 40 years to discover that I cant play it., 64. When you have no money. What are poems you would like us to add to this list? Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores., 30 I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.. I am a golfing addict and every chance I get Im going to go and have a round., OK, said his wife. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators., 41. If Jove were thus engaged, we did not see him. The greats have tried. Laughter is a gift. In addition to golf Poems of famous poets, there is a huge collection of other unique poems in our website. Play golf.. An American citizen is vacationing on his own in Ireland. The scene of a man kneeling next to his playing partners bare rear end was too much for the group playing behind the twosome. 18 hole weekend golf domesticity avoided greatness eludes them. His opponent play fair, and his fair one prove kind. Youll have to use a coconut for a ball.. A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse to play a round of golf together. Ive found my ball! he announces triumphantly. In no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself., 23. Something thats ours and ours alone. Provokes the bile of Captain George Moncrieffe. We all want to hit the ball better and shoot lower scores. I cant wait., 65. Here, in Golf Poems, is an enchanting collection of poetry that touches on the fundamental feelings, fears, hopes, aspirations and thoughts that every true golfer knows and appreciates. You managed to survive your working years. Best Friends. Guffaw, chuckle and snortle your way through more than two dozen funnies. Pressure is when you play $5 a hole with only $2 in your pocket., 31. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A life built on the sands of materialism. The great thing about starting golf in your forties is that you can start golf in your forties., 79 Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five., 80 You have the opposite of poker face. P.J. We sincerely hope these poems got a chuckle or two out of you, and encourage you to share some of these with your friends and . Fortunately, poems have spread to talk about golf, even centuries ago, and we have selected some poems for you to read. Short Funny Wedding Readings. Published by Family Friend Poems August 2020 with permission of the author. SHOELESS PETE. Putt, putt, and away! Knock, knock. He strikeshes in the ditchthis hole is ours; Bang goes my ballits bunkerd, by the powrs. You sneezed on Miss Muffet and ruined her clothes. Whos there? By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps. By Its Size I Could Not Guess. My lord, or plain Sir David at the least! Is Drinking Allowed On PGA Tour Golf Courses? His partner muttered something not so civil, Particularly, scoundrelsat the devil!, Now Baird and Clan in turn strike off and play. The preacher teed it up, and hit a pretty fair drive, low and straight. It has charms for the aged, as well as the young. The wine, the ale, the toasts, the jokes, the songs, It may not be! 5 Eletelephony by Laura Elizabeth Richards. Against the sky, displayd in high relief. All Golfers are brothers when driving is far. But when he winds his horn, and leads the chase. The Old Testament is responsible for more atheism, agnosticism, disbelief call it what you will than any book ever written; it has emptied more churches than all the counter attractions of cinema, motor bicycle and golf course., 19. Baird plays the oddsits all. Relax? If you break 100, watch your golf. Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,. May 9 2018 explore patricia roma s board golf poems on pinterest. FAR and sure! Robert Hass, Twentieth Century Pleasures: Prose On Poetry. It has been said that, at the break of day. The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie., 3. P-U-T means to place a thing where you want it. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable., 83. Being one with the club and ball. twere fearful falling off, In most majestic strain; let others dwell, On such, and rack their carnal brains to tell, May your wedge float high then softly drop, Is next morning at the beginning of daylight, The cold and the moodiness I easily fight, When I lay my eyes on such a beautiful sight, Hungry for adventure and balls in the air, As the wind blows swiftly and caresses my hair, A place to gather & create stories to recall, My heart warms every time Im on the green, My mind filled and sharpened with memories so pristine, Never will I forget these nights with my friends. They knew the game, would have delighted in it! Mars, Jove, and Neptune would have studied Golf. After three minutes, neither has had any luck. And freely bets round all the scarlet ring; And swears by Ammon, hell engage to drive, Thats Major Playfair, a man of nerve unshaken. The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie., 39. I was married to her for 35 years.. Good lie: Weight on our driver's license. Your spouse can nag you full time now, And your kids will still annoy you. To drive the force of ur being down that freeway. It seems to say, If you are going to keep company with me, dont embarrass me., 82. Whos he thats just arrived?I know him well; When he does hit the ball, he swipes like blazes. Health, happiness, harmony, friendship, and fame. Harvey Penick, ThePlay A Lifetime: More Lessons And Teachings. Neither man trusted the others scorekeeping. Short Funny Poems. There, to the left, I see Mount-Melville stand. Although in lands most distant we sojourn. It would be shorter, but much less clever, as a straight joke. you could not have done more; Tis bad, but still we may get home at four.. 2. Funny Golf Meme Tee The Ball Lower They Said Image. Would be all that he'd need, then you haven't a clue! I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games., With a big smile, he asks the others, In the States, we call that, . In golf, the balls lie poorly and the players lie well -If you are in the hunt for some funny golf gag gifts, here's our top picks for a bunch of gift occasions. Manage Settings I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose., are like aspirin. Just being polite, but my ear will get bent. Click on the poem title below to browse through the golf poems both. We have a great collection of famous golf poems verses our selection of golf poetry focuses on poems that are about golf and easy to comprehend. ORourke, Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book For Rude People. Youll rarely find him make a foolish bet. In its departments, women, men, and boys: Men play the game, the boys the clubs convey. Golf is a good walk spoiled. Learn to laugh at your bad shots and youll start to enjoy this great game even more. There you go! If you enjoy the game of golf you are driven to improve. search . We learn so many things from golf how to suffer, for instance. -, 27. Pam Ayres is a poet of the people, her humorous, clever, true-to-life observations has struck a chord and warmed our hearts since the Seventies.. At 15, she left school to work as a clerical assistant, before joining the Women's Royal Air Force. Of course, you need some cl Do you get to pick the location of your wedding? Which must descend, and which must rise ahead. Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. Six! he said and then hastily corrected himself No, no. After many a round he will wonder just why. The only thing golfers love more than golf is some funny golf jokes these un fore gettable puns one liners and jokes will have you rolling on the green between putts and can ease the pain of a bad round. Most everyone can relate to silly poems such as this one. Ive seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better., 25. Common Mistakes: the word "i" should be capitalized, "u" is not a word, and "im" is spelled "I'm" or "I am". Next on the funny short poem hit parade is shoeless Pete, who has a problem with both his shoes, and his nose! It works the balls so well against the wind. Caddie: "I don't think you'll keep your head down long enough.". That can be euphoric or lead to depression. A reminder to not be too hard on himself. I prefer walking. "Well, where do you want me to start ?" Our first standing toast we to Golfing assign. That Golfing of field sports stands foremost in fame. Now, lift the stones, but do not touch the ball. Shrapnel may be moved on the fairway, or in the bunkers, without. It makes it difficult to tolerate mediocrity. Far and sure! of faraway creeks no map. Sent the ball flying after it was hammered! If its any hotter than that, I wont play. Are knockd down by our balls as they whiz through the air. 84. ball from the same place. To this day, I have never been asked by my dad to play golf. What Does It Mean When Your Golf Tee Flies Backward? 4. A life built on the sands of celebrity. To live life as you please. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters., 38 If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball., 39. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. It doesn't mean your fit But it will soften any tension It could be consider stress prevention. Instead of saving for someone elses college education, Im currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch., 66. And bloodless the laurels we reap on the green; From vigrous exertions our pleasures arise. The Golf Tragic. 9. Funeral arrangements for Nick have been set for Saturday at his favorite golf course. The stance and the takeaway, the swing plane and height Your email address will not be published. Your teacher always said in math, You wasn't very bright, As when you did your adding up, You never got it right. 6. cheeseburger. . Read, share, and enjoy these Golf funny poems! O hole! I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyones game: Its called an eraser. -, 23. Allan Sherman, AGift of Laughter The Autobiography Of Allan Sherman. Because these poems are so short, they offer plenty of room for humor. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air., 20. That's what I've heard everyone say. ", "I don't know," replied the caddie, "the worms round here are very clever. He knows a thing or two, or Im mistaken; And when hes pressd, can play a tearing game, Theres noneIll back the assertion with a wager. 1. Without one loathsome feeling but the paying, And that is lessened by the thought, we borrow, Then, heres prosperity to Golf! penalty provided it's not nearer the hole. Matt and Jimmy were playing their home course. Honey, Ive got something to tell you. ball!" 3 - keep the humor and the poems clean for all ages. Golf has probably kept more people sane than psychiatrists have., 16. Amy. Reader, attend! Nay, more: tho some may doubt, and sneer, and scoff. 14. #6. You might also like these funny quotes about golf. Yet, computer and I work hand and eye With a . The tip-top hands that to the Club belong; Whose play, at times, can scarcely be surpassd. Knock, knock. They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, "how do you know if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed? Poem details by jan allison categories. I don't unerstand the cures That maintenance wizards do It's called defragmenter, span disk, And virus cleaning too!. Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T? She asked her instructor. We reach the green at last, at even strokes; Some caddy chatters, that the chief provokes. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). John Updike, GolfDreams: Writings on Golf. 95 quotes have been tagged as golf. But it hooked into the rough, making me feel pain., This is the life of a golf ball roughly slapped, I felt a bit groggy, my meal had been soggy, I raised my club back and unloaded my whip, But I hit myself painfully, forgot to clear my hips, Wailing on the tee box, as if I had stepped on Lego blocks, The spectators laughed, thats what you get when you throw rocks, She says Im losing money to golf like a drug, My wife is mad, unfortunately not mad in love, She says I play too much golf, gave my equipment a shove, Ill burn the house down if you play every day! she said, So I took my clubs out and headquartered in the shed, I started practicing on my backyard putting green, The air smelled good, it was oh so pristine, Until I started smelling smoke, the smell was dire, I turned around and woah, the house was on fire!, Never let them during your swing make a sound, Even if it were carried by a friendly mole!, He yells Hold on! Dont force your kids into sports. I dont like golf carts. The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive., 44. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling., 35. half the night, but he learned. "Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.". He brought. He has the statesmans elements, tis plain. Golf all the dayand Houris all the night! Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods. As we are confessing, I havent been completely honest with you, either. In Eden garden.Have, get, before it cloy, Before it cloud, Christ, lord, and sour with sinning, Innocent mind and Mayday in girl and boy, Most, O maid's child, thy choice and worthy the winning. See also: 21 Intoxicating New Orleans Quotes to Inspire Your Trip to the Big Easy, Your email address will not be published. He watched the preacher walk confidently to the first tee, a short par-4. TIS morn! We are pretty confident none of these will work in the 19th hole. A ball moved or destroyed by enemy action, can be replaced without. At Golf we contend without rancour or spleen. Dont even putt. -, 24. And despite whatever you once believed, Gosh darn it, you're still alive. From exercise keen, from strength active and bold. A threat to all save Allan might give pause: And frequent from within come tones of fear. in spring-flow gaps, the thin clear. Golfer: "I think I'll go drown myself in that lake.". ", They were hesitant but said she could come once to try it. Dost love the greatest laugher of the lot?. Dinky, stinky Shoeless Pete. Something that cant be taught to you or learned. Gone golfin' be back dark thirty. This humorous poem uses the humorous parts of aging. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. GolfThis is a puzzle with no answer. Ill have you know Ive been standing on your ball for the last three minutes!, A golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. John told him, One stroke penalty, for improving your lie., After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and asked, Ive been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but whats a rider?, The pro said, A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it., Nick and Lou head out for a quick round of golf.